With or Without

De José Antonio Calañas Continente
Autumn sky near L'Alcúdia (València, Spain), September 2018


One hundred and sixty-three days
of silence.
Five and almost half a month,
day in, day out,
getting used to having
disappeared.
Three thousand nine hundred and twelve hours
filled with different kinds of hurt,
with different shades of pain,
with excruciating
unresponsive
silence.
Almost a quarter million of minutes
trying to find a way
to dull the pain of solitude
to just a quantum above the threshold,
barely functioning.
Nearly half a year
of silence
and not imploding,
just learning to accept
what I cannot change,
just learning to change
what I cannot live with
or without.

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